It was worth it!

Commentary

Married life is a glorious challenge. Those of us who have been married for more than thirty-five years can look back and realize that loving each other meant struggling to maintain love alive and make it grow instead of getting sick and dying. We know that we have to be reborn every day; we have to invent, imagine, create that which gives love life; and, when we fail, we get up, as soon as possible, and start again.

Without that underlying peace, strength, and joy that we give each other in intimate trust, this joyful struggle is difficult. However, when we are both in it, accompanying and encouraging each other, we can enjoy that joy of the love Pope Francis speaks, even when well-being or pleasure comes to an end or when problems and difficulties arise. When possessive desire and the will to conquer or dominate arise, that backdrop of peace and joy can conquer them. It does so by inspiring calmness, tenderness, patience, and a gaze that sets beyond the present danger.

He who has no loved ones suffers for no one, only himself. He who loves his loved ones learns to relish their joys and suffer their pains as if they were his own. He who loves ceases to be self-absorbed. Because of the types of love that are lived within the family, this is the first and most important school for not living in self-absorption, but rather for being attentive to one´s loved ones.

The loving gaze of lovers says it all. That look reflects the contemplation of the other and his unconditional acceptance. When the years go by, one feels the joy of a job well done, a shared good, the gratification of our union being alive. Sorrows hurt, no doubt. However, faced together, they are the realistic occasions to become closer. Furthermore, when we face them together, instead of each one on their own or disunited, our love becomes more profound, stronger, more real, and more alive. We can say together: it was worth it! Worth all the sorrows!