English
EspañolWhat is the most important source of love in a family? The spousal union of love. What keeps a father and mother together is conjugal love, which later radiates on their children and brings them together as siblings. When this conjugal love is undone, the other family bonds stumble.
Text
“… we often present marriage in such a way that its unitive meaning, its call to grow in love, and its ideal of mutual assistance are overshadowed by an almost exclusive insistence on the duty of procreation.” (The Joy of Love, n.36)
Commentary
I once knew a lady who hardly ever left her house after giving birth to her children, sometimes because she was tired and other times because she was worried that her children would cry if someone else took care of them. She was even less willing to go on a trip with her husband. She told me about a conversation she had had at a consultation, which had led to a change in attitude. She had been asked to answer three questions: Who did you meet first? Who are you staying with when your children become independent, and you are old? What is your most intimate bond of love as a woman?
We often think, mothers especially, that children are the ones who need us the most and that our husband can manage on his own. This is not the case. It is not only a great mistake but also neglect of the marital union. The love between spouses is the most important in a family and the one that should most be cared for and made to grow. Children will be better cared for and educated to the extent that we care for conjugal love. To witness our parents loving each other as united spouses is what most educates, reassures, gives security and balance, and teaches children to love.
As a daughter, since I was a child and now that I am older and have children of my own, nothing gives me greater security, confidence, and joy than to see my parents loving each other as spouses. And, unfortunately, I have also seen deep pain, fears, and disengagement caused to children by their parents´ disunity, hatred, and divorce.
One can take away from this experience how conjugal love between parents is the source of love, trust, and security for the whole family.
