English
EspañolWise and good parents, even during their children´s setbacks, never lose hope: they instill it in their children so that, because of their complex life, they do not fall prey to despair. They keep hope alive in themselves as an expression of their fidelity as parents, of their faith in the saving power of love, and as a source of inspiration to act with the artistry and wisdom required in each case.
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“Correction is also an incentive whenever children’s efforts are appreciated and acknowledged, and they sense their parents’ constant, patient trust. Children who are lovingly corrected feel cared for; they perceive that they are individuals whose potential is recognized…An attitude constantly prone to punishment would be harmful and not help children to realize that some actions are more serious than others. It would lead to discouragement and resentment: “Parents, do not provoke your children”. (The Joy of Love, n.269)
Commentary
Correcting children is an art form and a well of wisdom. From where does this wisdom stem? It is inspired by love, for correction is a particular manifestation of paternal and maternal love. They want the very best for their children.
Love is wise and artistry when it does not desire to prune everything, or at least not with equal severity. Some things must be overlooked, precisely not to create that atmosphere of negativity, of permanent reprimand against which the Pope warns us.
Later on, faults must be corrected, each one according to its seriousness: not by yelling and dispensing an equal punishment for everything. However, parents should neither be incessantly correcting every detail – and let this become their home environment – for they are not “the police” who are constantly investigating some “crime.”
Parents should know how to encourage and recognize every good thing and every achievement and improvement. They should also acknowledge when their child is right about a particular topic. May parents be able to ask for help and at the same time be grateful for the support they can provide for their children.
For parents, their child always maintains this identity even beyond death.
What is our intent with this apparent obviousness? To not lose sight of the fact that parents are each child´s personal, not abstract, origin – this is my father and my mother –; they collaborate with God to create this son, who was loved by God and will be forever. For this reason, even amid the worse life possible, a son or daughter needs in his innermost being not to be condemned by his parents, who are his origin, because that would be equivalent to having been a despicable and worthless being from the very act of his conception. That is never true.
A child must always see hope in his mother and father´s eyes. Such hope is God´s gaze upon the child who has strayed, shining through his parents. Never should parents despair and definitively condemn their child. Never should parents push a child, under any circumstances or justification, into the abyss of despair, into the temptation of suicide.
Defying all logic, they must keep love´s hope alive.
