English
EspañolA son is always a son. When he does wrong, he does not turn into an enemy but remains a son who needs to be corrected. Since he never loses his identity as a son, a father or mother straightens him through love, not with hatred or contempt. Since a father and mother never lose their identities as parents, they must examine themselves for any responsibility in their child´s misconduct and thus correct themselves as well.
Text
“Correction is also an incentive… Still, one of the things children need to learn from their parents is not to get carried away by anger. A child who does something wrong must be corrected, but never treated as an enemy or an object on which to take out one’s own frustrations. Adults also need to realize that some kinds of misbehaviour have to do with the frailty and limitations typical of youth.” (The Joy of Love, n.269)
Commentary
Educating children, including the necessary pruning and corrections, is always a loving scene; an essential part of parental love, for to love one´s children is to want the best for them. Moreover, that loving will to cultivate the best within them so that it may flourish and not wither lasts a lifetime – not only while they are minors. Parents, who are grandparents, know this well.
I would ask one thing of parents, in line with what the Pope asks of them: may correcting their children never be an occasion for insulting them. If they commit a mistake, the children have to make amends: this is clear. So, yes, a reprimand and punishment proportionate to the seriousness of their fault are in order; but no belittling of their person, no physical, verbal, or psychological violence.
They will take things more seriously if they witness their parents trusting in their ability to change and if asking for help is made easy. Insulting them, maltreating them, denigrating them in front of other people – family members, friends, school teachers, among others – will not do any good.
In reality, such aggression and humiliation can be a profound injustice, an actual sin against the love and respect that parents owe their children. The fourth commandment also contemplates the parent´s behavior. Parents, who are to be honored, must not exasperate, mistreat, humiliate, belittle and cause their children to despair.
