Conjugal love through time

Commentary

We are made up of time, and our conjugal love is lived through different ages or stages. In each stage, husband and wife are challenged with the renewal of their union; there is a need to cast light on new dimensions, which can be more or less easier. Unforeseen important events arise in the lives of the children who are young adults, in the state of health of one of the spouses, in the family economy, in the new experience of being grandparents, among others. Mutual help and understanding will be decisive in renewing the routines of the departed past. Entering into veteran-hood, each spouse should have already learned to enjoy, rather than suffer, the other person´s differences; how said differences are not bad, just his or her way of being, which is respected and embraced. Moreover, the changes in age make spouses, sometimes, reciprocally unexpected. They are a surprise to one another, a surprise with risks and opportunities.

Edmund commented in a counseling session that as the years of his marriage went by, he managed to value Cecilia, his wife, more and more. That each stage of his marriage had been an opportunity to be amazed because a new dimension of Cecilia came forth. He told me: “Before we got married, I had not seen Cecilia as a housewife, managing a household, cleaning, making shopping lists, and doing other errands. Being a housewife was a dimension of my wife that I did not know, and that also made me fall in love with her. Then our first child was born, and I saw Cecilia as a mother, raising our son, preparing the baby food, having bad nights, reading stories. Later on, she helped with homework. Cecilia, “the teacher,” appeared. I can say the same about Cecilia’s support when my father got sick. I saw Cecilia as another daughter of my parents, Cecilia, “the nurse.” I will repeat it, every stage of our married life has helped me rediscover Cecilia with wonder and made my love for her grow.”