English
EspañolA loving gaze, full of tenderness, is the master key that will open their heart to yours. The indifferent, cold, or contemptuous gaze closes it like a safe.
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“To be open to a genuine encounter with others, “a kind look” is essential. This is incompatible with a negative attitude that readily points out other people’s shortcomings while overlooking one’s own. A kind look helps us to see beyond our own limitations, to be patient and to cooperate with others, despite our differences.” (The Joy of Love, n.100)
Commentary
Gustavo´s father´s car has been taken to the warehouse. Gustavo borrowed it without permission to go to a meeting with friends. He drank more than he should have. The police stopped him for control and realized he had been drinking. It is a severe infraction. There is nothing to do. The car is impounded. His father pays the fine and returns home with the car. Gustavo is tremendously embarrassed and cannot look his father in the eye. However, the father affectionately lifts his head and just looks at him. Gustavo understands: “I forgive you, but we have to talk; this cannot happen again.” No word was heard, but the two had communicated and understood each other, settling the difficult moment.
Through a loving gaze, we open our hearts and express with confidence what we have inside. By looking kindly at the other person, we not only show affection and embrace towards them but also hope. Hope to unite with them and walk together, even if we are different. Hope that regardless of our differences, we can show our affection.
On the other hand, the cold, pessimistic and contemptuous gaze shows a storehouse of reproaches. Reproaches for being different, their mistakes, and their defects, because they gave us a hard time because we do not like the way they are. The pessimistic gaze creates a ditch that divides two paths and builds disunity. It also conveys a feeling of superiority towards the other: “he doesn’t understand,” we tell ourselves, “he is not up to my level,” “he is stupid and hopeless”; it communicates contempt: “I cannot forgive them, they will not change, they do not deserve it, I am wasting my time.” If you have no hope in them, they have no hope in you either. And what is hopeless love? Ashes.
Do you want to light the embers of your familial loves? Put tenderness in your eyes. Put warmth in your heart. Fan those embers. Persevere. The bush will burn again. And this time, if love ignites the bush, it will not char you.
