English
EspañolI burned the ships of the past when I got married. I only attend to the challenge before me: to be more and to better embody our union of love and life. That is when the miracle occurs: every day is a new opportunity to grow in patience, generosity, mercy, tenderness, intimate embrace of my beloved with his virtues and defects. I seize these occasions and wring them like a good lemon.
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“Being patient does not mean letting ourselves be constantly mistreated, tolerating physical aggression or allowing other people to use us (…)Unless we cultivate patience, we will always find excuses for responding angrily. We will end up incapable of living together, antisocial (…)Patience takes root when I recognize that other people also have a right to live in this world, just as they are (…)Love always has an aspect of deep compassion that leads to accepting the other person as part of this world, even when he or she acts differently than I would like.” (The Joy of Love, n.92)
Commentary
If I have begun the adventure of marriage with my spouse, I must direct all my existence towards loving this person, with their virtues and defects, which they undoubtedly have, as do I. I have to manifest, in daily life, my respect, affection, and veneration towards them with a thousand details that will make coexistence pleasant, these will be small details that nonetheless will allow me to achieve the harmony, peace, and tranquility that I want in my home: punctuality, tidiness, kindness, attentiveness, generosity, a spirit of service, among more. This should occur from the beginning and when the children, whom God blesses us with, start arriving.
It is mainly there, within the growing family, that genuine affection is forged because each one is slowly detached from his or her egocentric self and learns to think in terms of “you” and “us.” This generosity, or continually thinking of the other, is the key for things to go well and for my spouse to look forward to coming home after an exhausting day´s work. Children also want to have a home where they are loved for themselves, for who they indeed are. They long for a home with no mistreatment; there is understanding; they are corrected when wrong and encouraged to succeed.
Every family member will fight to ensure that there is never violence in the home, neither physical nor psychological because we see the havoc this entails. A strong, secure, mature personality is forged in the family and makes us good, virtuous people and citizens. Many physical and psychological illnesses often come from not finding true roots within the family.
Whether I am a husband, wife, or child, I must live this identity rooted in my family, like a fish that lives in the water, its habitat, for when it tries to reach the shore, it suffocates. Wanting to leave the family because I am impatient with the defects of others is dangerous; I will lack the oxygen to breathe, even if at the beginning I do not notice it. This impatience prevents me from learning to wait, and patience is crucial to truly love.
