English
EspañolIf I love, I don´t just practice tenderness; I am tender. Since I am the one who loves, only I can manifest myself “tenderly” throughout my body: when I look, when I speak, when I kiss, when I hug, when I listen, in any gesture, and every action. Because I love others, I can be tender even in silent moments that speak “I love you.”
Text
“Against this backdrop of love (…) another virtue stands out, one often overlooked in our world of frenetic and superficial relationships. It is tenderness (…) (Tenderness) is a closeness that is conscious and not simply biological.” (The Joy of Love, n.28)
Commentary
Regarding love, tenderness is like the sun. Why? Because love´s dynamism means there is a lover, a beloved, and also a womb where life-giving light shines. To be like a warm bosom and a living light is the core of tender love. At its highest point, the love shared between two people transforms them into the heart of their union. And tenderness is the sun that shines from it. Tenderness radiates, like a sun, the warm light that infuses the love shared with life.
Therefore, tenderness is warmth and softness. It is the delicate and exquisite manifestation to the beloved of the intimate beauty in giving one´s self and embracing each other. It is the warmth that radiates from the bush that burns without being consumed, the welcoming fire that accompanies without scorching. Tenderness is the master key that unlocks intimate trust; it is the sweetness of peace and the harmony between lovers. It is the strength without “force,” that subtle power “without the power to dominate,” that softens the hardness of the heart. Tenderness moves selfish propensity and corrects it. Its gentleness incites to reciprocate love. Tenderness is the light of love.
We need to rediscover tenderness. Rediscover it in every bond of love. In the heart of each family.
May we not lack the time and space to be tender in our home. May we not be ashamed of expressing it. It is not cheesiness or a sign of weakness. On the contrary. Tenderness springs from the power of love. From its truth and goodness. Tenderness softens hearts and prevents them from hardening, thus becoming insensitive or cruel stones.
I have met people who consider manifestations of tenderness to be a weakness. Due to some deep-seated error or complex, they detest appearing vulnerable. They are afraid to love. They go about life with a hundred shields over their backs, hidden in their armor, avoiding having to open their intimacy to give themselves and embrace another person. For these individuals, the warmth or sweetness of tenderness is fragility, trickery or cunning of the needy, childish silliness, impertinent and overwhelming openness. But, how is it possible to love pretending not to be moved, not manifesting oneself intimately, hiding behind masks, and creating a cold and dominant character that we embody when interacting emotionally with others? Well, it´s impossible.
Tenderness is speechless because it is ineffable. It is light that gives life. Therefore, it “illuminates and revitalizes” it all, gestures, behavior, deeds. It can transform anything into an intimate, warm, delicate, truthful, authentic, and kind communication of love. It is an immense power. Tenderness knows how to utilize silences to transmit ineffable and warm love, creating atmospheres and environments of peace, trust, and harmony. Noiseless, wordless. Radiating light that softens moves warms and embeds hearts with life.
Tenderness knows how to say “I love you” in silence. With a glance, with a smile, with an embrace with a kiss on the hand, with a cup of coffee or piece of chocolate, with a wink of complicity, or stroking the beloved´s hair. Tenderness reveals the deepest parts of our intimacy, for it communicates the love we cherish in our hearts.
