English
EspañolI am always a child. Neither my origin nor my destiny is an anonymous coincidence. To be a child is to have a unique identity and an unconditional value that stems from coming into existence through love and for love. Who can confirm this innate intuition and most profound need? My parents. They are the ones who loved me “first” when they begot me.
Text
“Even if one becomes an adult, or an elderly person, even if one becomes a parent, if one occupies a position of responsibility, underneath all of this is still the identity of a child.” (The Joy of Love, n.188)
Commentary
Today there is a family reunion at the Gonzalez´s family house. Everyone is there, Berta, Orlando, their children, the grandchildren, and Berta´s mother.
First scene: one of the grandchildren asks Berta: “Grandma, is my dad your son”? Berta smiles and answers yes. “Then tell your son to let us eat chocolate before lunch.” Berta´s smile becomes even more prominent when her grandson returns to his father and says, “Daddy, your mom has given us permission to eat chocolate.”
Second scene: seeing that Berta was going back and forth serving lunch, her mother says to her, “My child, sit down for lunch. All of us will help you.” Berta sits down at the table, and her mother strokes her head. A little grandchild asks aloud, “Grandma Celia, Mama Berta is your little daughter?”
The questions of the Gonzalez grandchildren catch our attention. Why? Because to us, the answers seem obvious, as if the questions were nonsensical. We have forgotten that the answer is not a “fact” but rather a loving identity; bonds of profound companionship. These are answers to the question of “who am I and who are you?” and this backstory is often alluded to through the questions young children and grandchildren ask. Questions that are not the product of childish ignorance but are actually profound things. That is how children perceive them and the security we provide through our answers. Perhaps we have forgotten our childhood, the child each of us, carries inside.
As children, we were more aware of this identity because we needed more support, more help for many things: food, clothing, housing, medicine, studies, among others but, above all, unconditional love, affection, pampering, tender and definitive embrace, throughout all our life. When we reach adolescence, the awareness of being children begins to fade away, under the search for our independence, but it does not disappear. Along with the desire to be autonomous, be recognized as adults, and even rebel against parental authority, the understanding that we need to be listened to and loved remains. Perhaps maturity comes along with the debut of our role as parents and, because of this new role, the awareness of being children is concealed even more.
These small scenes of daily life remind us that we are all children and, therefore, we are not beings that have emerged from anonymity, with an impersonal origin and devoid of meaning. Without original ties between people, we are isolated beings enclosed in an ego that needs no one. On the contrary, our origin is concrete people, our parents, who loved and begot us. We are always children. Genealogy between people, bonds of love between generations. Grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren. These ties are original identities and intimate loving relationships between singular, concrete people. We are not solitude from beginning to end. We are the intimate companionship of life between one another.
