English
EspañolDo you want the best for a child, or are you only thinking of yourself? A child has the right to a father and a mother, a right to both of them being united by love, and for the core of their parents´ union to be their warm home.
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“Every child has a right to receive love from a mother and a father; both are necessary for a child’s integral and harmonious development. We are speaking not simply of the love of father and mother as individuals, but also of their mutual love.” (The Joy of Love, n.172)
Commentary
“First I want to have a child, and then get married,” “I just want to be a mom, but not get married.” I have heard these words more than once, but I cannot make sense of them. It seems that what lacks consideration is a child´s wellbeing; it is put aside and forgotten.
It is very selfish of us to entertain such life projects. We would be considering the satisfaction of our whim of maternity or paternity without taking into account the needs each child has of affection, of rightfully counting on his mom and dad to grow up healthy and be able to face life and learn to love by seeing how his parents loved each other. The good of a child demands – and I use this word because it is an innate right – to have a father and mother united by love. It demands being born and growing up in the heart of a warm home. Furthermore, a father and mother who are separated, each living on their own, cannot provide their child with the home they need. This has devastating consequences for the child.
What may occur is that some life circumstances make loving and staying together difficult or impossible for the father and mother of a child. Such a state is not a blessing but rather a misfortune for the child. I agree that there are misfortunes and mishaps in life, representing a sorrowful starting point for these children. However, freely and consciously depriving a child of enjoying his or her father and mother together because of a voluntary and planned choice between those adults is a different situation. What lies and manipulations will be used to justify it to their child when they grow up and ask for explanations? Will the parents tell their child it was for their own good?
