English
EspañolA crisis is a test—and opportunity to unite more if both spouses, together, help each other to overcome it. It is a danger of shipwreck if each one on his own turns it into accusations, reproaches, and division.
Text
“Saint John of the Cross tells us that “old lovers are tried and true.” They “are outwardly no longer afire with powerful emotions and impulses, but now taste the sweetness of the wine of love, well-aged and stored deep within their hearts.” Such couples have successfully overcome crises and hardships without fleeing from challenges or concealing problems.” (The Joy of Love, n.231)
Commentary
Nowadays, when a culture of disposable and immediate satisfaction has taken hold, young marriages and not-so-young ones can suffocate in the face of difficulties, starting with the normal ones that living together in marriage brings along.
Marriage is not only you and I; it is also and above all the union, the we that we are together. Sometimes this vision of being a union is not taken into account. We continue to think and live alongside one another in individual and unilateral terms: an “I” and a “you” that seek their particular satisfaction through exchanging services and interests. If this exchange does not satisfy one party, it is over for this “thing” no longer works for them. They have failed to comprehend the calling to be a unity, of the unique us that love creates. Moreover, not having taken care of their union, it perishes – for it does not exist – when each one pulls in their own direction.
The poor individual tolerance for failure can block them in the face of a problem, preventing them from finding a path to reconciliation. The media floods society with “individualized” models of marriage and unrealistic standards of satisfaction and happiness, based on the accumulation of material goods, instead of aiming at inner and personal improvement and the growth of both spouses as a union.
