English
EspañolIs a marriage falling apart? Do not widen their differences. Do not fuel their hatred. Relieve their suffering. Put light, give peace, and help them reunite.
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“(…) any breach of the marriage bond “is against the will of God,” she is also “conscious of the frailty of many of her children (…) the Church must accompany with attention and care the weakest of her children, who show signs of a wounded and troubled love, by restoring in them hope and confidence, like the beacon of a lighthouse in a port.” (The Joy of Love, n.291)
Commentary
Pope Francis calls us to act with great love and mercy towards our family and friends whose marriages are going through bad times. Every one of us has some or many weaknesses. Sometimes, the worst one is the stubbornness that stems from not recognizing one´s frailties, limitations, and defects, blinded by thoughts like “I am right” and “it is the other´s fault.”
When a marriage goes astray or fractures, those who are lost and torn are the spouses themselves. Marriage is not something that originates from the outside but from within the spouses. It is their union. We do not seem to want to realize the enormous damage we are doing to ourselves, our children, and the rest of the family. What blinds us? The stubborn tendency of the “ego” seeks to impose itself, prevail, and make others revolve around its desires. This ego seeks its satisfaction; it never relents, even at the cost of weakening, distancing, or breaking the conjugal union.
In such painful circumstances, the last thing we can do is engage in warfare, increasing resentments, accusations, and hatreds, dividing and further distancing the spouses, their children, and the respective families.
It must be said, emphatically, that such behaviors are not Christian, nor do they represent good love or are constructive attitudes. When faced with fragilities, fractures, and hatreds, those who genuinely love those spouses embrace them, soothe, patiently pacify, give hope, explore what caused it, and act as a beacon of light for the ships at risk of wreckage. The enormous good that is being destroyed is their ability to be a union. The light, brought forth by love, is the one that brings into perspective what confronts and disunites them while at the same time what paths bring them closer and reunite. If you know the causes, seek the wisdom and artistry to deactivate them, but do not turn them into weapons, bombs, and cannons.
