To learn to communicate we must first listen

Commentary

For two to be as one is a long apprenticeship. It lasts a lifetime, for every day and age brings new scenarios. That is why those who love each other, precisely to keep their union alive, have to advance, as soon as possible, in the art and wisdom of listening and getting to know each other instead of silencing one another, they have to learn how to reach an agreement instead of quarreling and living in discord. To be a union of love and life – our union – is to transcend the duality of you and me; both of us must work on this ascent.

Marilu and Juan are upset with each other. They later make amends and admit that the annoyance was over a silly thing. Marilu says that while she speaks “in the G key,” Juan speaks “in the F key” or simply does not listen to her or remains silent, grumbling. Juan says that she does not stop talking, that she interrupts him, and that he gets tired of not finishing what he intended to say. In the end, they are afraid to be face to face because instead of talking, they argue. And talking, as the word itself indicates, is to communicate, to converge, to agree, to meet, to “be-with,” instead of each one going their way.

It would be perfect for Marilu and Juan to learn to listen and dialogue: speaking one at a time, thinking before they speak, trying to understand what the other person wants to say instead of concentrating on the following argument they will present in order to defeat the other person. They have to practice that; it is not an ability people receive at birth. It stems from respecting each other while speaking, not trying to impose oneself. However, dialogue requires time and effort to give oneself to the other through actively listening to them. The best motivation for this laborious learning is our love for one another because maintaining it alive and uniting more and more each day requires dialogue and consensus.