English
EspañolIf you want to love and be loved, rid yourself of envy. Rid yourself of its branches and its roots.
Envy is one of the darkest forms of hatred. The soul´s entrails – even those of the body – writhe with bitterness before happiness, joys, or any good thing the neighbor has. On top of this, in pathetic contradiction, envy desires to possess for itself what it despises, demeans, or criticizes in its neighbor. It becomes insatiable for what belongs to others, never satisfied with its own, twisted like a corkscrew in murmuring and criticism, rather dead than praising another person. However, if there is an expectation of profit and greed, envy enjoys being alive to flatter oneself. Finally, to cap it all, the envious person never manages to be happy with himself but has to hide it. If I envy, I do not love, and I do not give life; what toil and sweat envy bring while leaving us always empty!
Text
“When a loving person can do good for others, or sees that others are happy, they themselves live happily and in this way give glory to God, for “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor 9:7). Our Lord especially appreciates those who find joy in the happiness of others. If we fail to learn how to rejoice in the well-being of others, and focus primarily on our own needs, we condemn ourselves to a joyless existence, for, as Jesus said, “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).” (The Joy of Love, n.110)
Commentary
Perhaps the idea that morals and virtues are external to love has crossed our minds. They suit love because it is passionate, sentimental, irrational, and a little crazy. Morals and virtues would then order it, “domesticate” it. Nothing could be more wrong. Morality must be understood in the light of love. Virtues are the inner guts of good and true love. Each virtue is a particular way – good, beautiful, and genuine – of giving oneself and of embracing others, which constitutes love itself.
Love – that which unites us intimately and gives life to children – is not reduced to erotic sensibility, to romantic feelings. It incorporates and integrates them to the committed presence of the person, that is, with his or her intelligence and will, ready to be involved “in person” with the beloved. It is the decision to live together for life, focusing on the needs of the other before my own. If I do not give life to my beloved, I am giving him death: there is no middle ground. It is not necessary to poison or attack someone in order to kill them; it is enough to ignore and not feed them, and since one does not live by bread alone, there are many ways to make life impossible. To avoid any form of killing, I must love. Loving my partner entails: lovingly expressing my feelings and not repressing them; accepting my beloved as he is, without trying to force him to change, facing disagreements openly and lovingly; knowing how to forgive and ask for forgiveness; praising; gifting myself without attachments and ties and not expecting retribution; respecting their sensitivity, not being possessive; praying to ask for the necessary light and strength; agreeing to make decisions and respecting what has been agreed upon; creating an atmosphere of affection, trust, and joy. To give testimony of that Christian life whose only law is Love. And Love is the Triune God´s way of living together.
