English
EspañolLove’s enemy is the clock. Love knows no hurry. It needs time to embrace calmly. With that serene and intense calm that says to the beloved: at this moment, there is no one else but you! Here I am! Only for you!
Text
“This process takes time. Love needs time and space; everything else is secondary. Time is needed to talk things over, to embrace leisurely, to share plans, to listen to one other and gaze in each other’s eyes, to appreciate one another and to build a stronger relationship. Sometimes the frenetic pace of our society and the pressures of the workplace create problems. At other times, the problem is the lack of quality time together, sharing the same room without one even noticing the other.” (The Joy of Love, n.224)
Commentary
I will tell you about a case; not unusual, in fact, more frequent every day. Elena arrives at her counseling appointment and says the following: “I have hardly talked with Carlos for a few months now. When he awakens, he says the obligatory “good morning,” all the while holding his cellphone and checking the messages or emails he has received. Several days a week, he does not come home for lunch because he has work and business to do. During the day, we do not talk, except when Carlos calls me for an errand or to ask about some pending matter. He arrives in the evening and eats dinner with his cell phone in his hand. Carlos usually receives calls and answers them. He also checks his messages and mumbles an “excuse me” in-between, an automatic empty politeness. We watch TV, and he keeps checking messages. When I want to talk to him about something important, I feel he does not hear me or is waiting for me to finish so he can check his cell phone. I do not want things to stay as they are. We are becoming a dry desert. I have asked him to talk.
