English
EspañolA family is not a rootless tree, a leaf in the wind, a hotel whose guests are birds of passage. A family is a home created from love stories – with its roots, trunk, and branches – that make up the living identity of its members. We are these spouses, fathers and mothers, these children and siblings, these grandchildren and grandparents.
We are these love stories and the memory of our shared life. Those memories are people: parents, grandparents, ancestors; also siblings, and grandchildren. In a family, the living memory of their lives and their love is the ever-present bond that unites the past generations with those of the future.
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“The lack of historical memory is a serious shortcoming in our society. A mentality that can only say, “Then was then, now is now,” is ultimately immature. Knowing and judging past events is the only way to build a meaningful future. Listening to the elderly tell their stories is good for children and young people; it makes them feel connected to the living history of their families, their neighborhoods, and their country. A family that fails to respect and cherish its grandparents, who are its living memory, is already in decline, whereas a family that remembers has a future.” (The Joy of Love, n.193)
Commentary
The family is built from a root that sinks into the earth, which are the ancestors, those who are no longer here but have left their mark on us. To forget them is to dilute who we are and our Origen. It can be a mistake that leads us to imposture, to create an alternative past that never existed, and to falsify our personality. This falsehood can become a severe hindrance within marriage because those who do not know how to show, hide, or falsify their roots put quicksand in creating that intimate trust, which is fundamental between spouses and only arises from being sincere and genuine to each other.
Knowing our history helps us to know ourselves. Grandparents, great storytellers because they have lived them, play an essential role in transmitting them to the youngest. It is necessary to promote spaces for the family to come together, spaces to share those anecdotes and events – happy or bitter – that mark the identity of the family members. Good, regular, or bad, they are the living lessons of our past.
Direct conversation, without electronic distractions, between elders and young people allows them to become familiar with each other and ask questions directly, which generates in that young person a feeling of belonging to the family group. Let us take advantage of a family reunion to take out the album of old photos. Even better, let’s make a mural of family photos as a family tree, which encourages young people to ask who the protagonists of these stories are.
Let us take advantage of the experience of the elders to strengthen the virtues of the younger ones. With their testimony of fighting for love or correcting themselves by recognizing their mistakes and missteps, grandparents are masters in sowing these lessons within their grandchildren. Especially in an era in which immediacy is sought, change is constant and ephemeral, and the anxiety to be first can make us forget where we want to go. Lean on the elders to not lose your north.
A family without roots, which are concrete people, is not a resistant tree but a leaf in the wind.
