English
EspañolWhat is glory? That warm light that floods me when her gaze, without words, tells me: “I love you… it is me; here I am. Here I am for you!”
Text
“A kind look helps us to see beyond our own limitations, to be patient and to cooperate with others, despite our differences.” (The Joy of Love, n.100)
Commentary
The love story of two spouses is dotted with moments of glory, intense and silent gazes, which speak volumes to the heart. A couple must conjure their loving union so that they do not lose that loving gaze and maintain it, to be able to gift it to one another when a difficulty arises, when loneliness darkens our soul when joy is needed. To look at each other with that enormous arsenal of tenderness, which love contains and inspires, allows us to overcome limitations and defects; it brings us closer, reuniting us, reconciles, and revives us.
We spouses have this fascinating weapon in our eyes, so long we place our warm and kind hearts in the way we look at each other.
Any relationship of mature love – the marital one by excellence – is realistic. Without dwelling on it, it knows that one person is better than the other in some respects: for example, he or she may be more thoughtful and rational, more objective, perhaps more patient and constant. The same concerning shortcomings: he or she may be more boring, routine-prone, or less imaginative. On the other hand, their spouse may be more optimistic, imaginative, dreamy, and subjective, less constant but more passionate and intense. We are different regarding our virtues and defects.
Putting warmth, affection, and kindness born from tenderness in our gaze allows us to complete each other precisely in what differentiates us. It prevents us from turning these differences into reproaches and distance. It makes us embrace each other, adding up instead of subtracting, multiplying instead of dividing. To live together in conjugal love requires us to be exquisite at communicating, especially in non-verbal communication, through those silences that, far from being empty, express with the caress of a hand, a look, a kiss…that profound sentiment of: “I love you, I am here, you have me.” Sometimes, it comes forth without effort because love is fire, and our hearts burn. Other times, we have to make an effort by fanning the embers buried in their ashes.
In the good times and not so good times, on the rose-colored days and those filled with thorns, to be able to fill our gaze of a deep, true embrace is the glory between spouses. It is a glory that radiates throughout the home. The children see it, and it comforts them. It teaches them to love in preparation for when it is their time.
