English
EspañolEach person, each family, is a unique puzzle; for every “piece” to find its place where it fits demands a personalized manner. It is an art form, no doubt—the art of loving one another.
Text
“This effort calls for missionary conversion by everyone in the Church, that is, one that is not content to proclaim a merely theoretical message without connection to people’s real problems.” (The Joy of Love, n.201)
Commentary
The art of loving is learned by actually loving. Abel has just been informed that the company he works for has decided to cut personnel, and he is among the first group of employees to be laid off. He does not know how to tell Dora, his wife. She quit her job a few months ago in order to spend more time with their four children. He talks to Rodrigo, a friend of his, and when asked how he could tell Dora, Rodrigo replies: “Well, you tell her, and that is it! You explain the company´s situation to her, and that is it. What else are you going to do?”
Abel disagrees with Rodrigo; his answer has hurt him a little. He finds it cold, indifferent. Why? What happens is that difficulties directly strike people´s hearts, and the heart sometimes does not comprehend reasons very well, even less so when the theoretical advice given is received from someone outside of the family. An outsider to our problem is not hurt or affected by it.
Faced with the difficulties that affect our family, we first feel them; they rattle our hearts and shrink our souls. Then, with time and luck, we may be able to make sense of them. Intellectual understanding is on another level. What a person feels, what each family member suffers, how they are affected by difficulties, all of that speaks first to the heart. It speaks another language, more concrete, based more on affection and feelings than on rational arguments or theoretical doctrines.
What is the language of the heart? The heart understands the language of embrace, affection, encouragement, hope, real, concrete support, and immediate actions. The heart speaks the language of being listened to without criticism, without previous judgment, and easy condemnations. The heart comprehends the language of a possible proposal, which results in your commitment to helping the other person solve that specific problem; and feels strengthened if you accompany the proposal with action. The heart understands the language of love, embrace and hope.
