English
EspañolThe Church accompanies families in good times, but above all, the difficulties. The Church? Yes, the Church we all form part of, not just priests. Starting by the families themselves and the living example of their love.
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“Married couples are grateful that their pastors uphold the high ideal of a love that is strong, capable of sustaining them through whatever trials they may have to face. The Church wishes, with humility and compassion, to reach out to families and “to help each family to discover the best way to overcome any obstacles it encounters.” (The Joy of Love, n.200)
Commentary
Marriages are like ships in the oceans of life. Storms come, the crew gets exhausted, and fights. Nevertheless, we become sailors, seasoned and veteran spouses, sailing “together” all the seas, without sinking.
Sandra and Cesar´s marriage came upon hard times when he got a job out of town. He would be away for three weeks each month and spend one with his family. Sandra also worked and was left with the responsibility of taking care of the children. She was overwhelmed. Every time Cesar arrived, they argued. It became so habitual that Sandra preferred Cesar not to come home at one point. For, when he came back, she was so annoyed, as if she would rather be alone with her children as if Cesar was dead weight. Thus, the husband began to feel unwanted, a stranger in his own home.
As a result of the arguments, they decided to visit the priest who celebrated their wedding. The priest was open to listening to both their arguments and, once he knew what was happening, he managed to make them reflect, to see things less subjectively, more realistically, and as a unit. He encouraged them to revive the illusion of their marriage. He told them that he was convinced that their love was powerful, so deeply rooted that it could overcome any difficulty. In order to go beyond simple words of encouragement, he suggested some concrete tasks related to the problems of miscommunication, distancing, and mutual reproaches. Setting concrete and possible tasks suited to their specific case is vital. The main idea is to give one another the time and space for communication, such as every love, even more so conjugal one, needs to remain “alive.” For example: to talk daily with César when he was away, by phone, email, WhatsApp; to be together and go out together, without the children, when César returned to the city; to take advantage of those times and spaces to enjoy, talk, solve things together, not to fight. César agreed to look for a job in his city. He succeeded.
He and Sandra are very grateful to this priest because he accompanied them in that difficult moment and helped them to strengthen their love and their family. The priest immediately refused to take credit for it: “You are the protagonists, the ones who have rebuilt yourselves because you had many embers of your love left inside … you just needed a push from outside, someone to tell you that it was worth it!
