English
EspañolResentment makes muddy waters stagnate in our hearts. Forgiveness makes clean waters flow.
Text
“Once we allow ill will to take root in our hearts, it leads to deep resentment (…)The opposite of resentment is forgiveness, which is rooted in a positive attitude that seeks to understand other people’s weaknesses and to excuse them.” (The Joy of Love, n.105)
Commentary
Resentment is a correctional officer that locks us in a dark sewer: resentment, revenge, fury, inner uneasiness, evil and shameful intentions, the flowers of hatred. One loses inner freedom and peace. A diabolical suicide because you are dead in life.
Ever since they met, Jorge did not like Antonio. The antipathy began when Antonio made a bad joke. Jorge never forgot it. Every time he went to a gathering where he knew Antonio would be, the antipathy surfaced at least a week before. Complaint after complaint, mentioning once and again what Antonio did to him. Angela, Jorge´s wife, decided to put an end to these bad memories and proposed a strategy: “It all started with an antipathy, with an annoyance that your pride brings back and back to the forefront of your thoughts. The more you think about the subject, the more your hatred gets bigger and what started as a strong emotion becomes a sentiment of annoyance towards the person who caused it, in this case, Antonio. Although the beginning may be the same – an antipathy, an annoyance – we cannot deny what happened; the ending may differ. Moreover, it can be different if instead of remembering the annoyance, you change your inner attitude and look at Jorge with an understanding gaze, not giving too much importance to what happened, forgiving … and starting over by embracing him in your heart.”
There is a lesson to be learned in these cases. Loving is not an infallible and mechanical magical formula. That is to say, we do not love because it will solve all our problems, all our inconveniences will disappear, and we will be happy in life, as in children´s stories. If you start to love thinking about these profits, you are doomed, and your “love” will disappoint you, for you will not achieve your purposes of childish happiness, and the annoyance and hardships of life will persist. Love is not the miraculous yellow ointment that cures everything. It is simply another universe. If you love, you will be more authentic and better; you will grow as a person and see the “true” reality of yourself, of others, and life, without the deceptions of self-centeredness. Furthermore, life, with its pains and hardships, will not defeat you by turning you into a zombie, into a living dead, empty, sad, and lonely. Besides, where you sow love, your loved ones will receive a breath of life and hope, warmth, embrace, understanding, and companionship. How so? Well, because loving will have made you be a living and life-giving good. This is no small feat. It is rather miraculous.
