English
EspañolTo commit oneself to another in marriage before society is not a sack of public burdens. It is to pledge to a conscious growth of loving each other, a pledge to overcome being two, you and I, to be both a single “us.” That of our union, neither yours, nor mine, but ours. And this new joint way of being and living is founded and formally communicated to society when we get married.
Text
“As a social institution, marriage protects and shapes a shared commitment to deeper growth in love and commitment to one another (…) It involves a series of obligations born of love itself, a love so serious and generous that it is ready to face any risk.” (The Joy of Love, n.131)
Commentary
Gustavo and Monica have been dating for some time. They want to get married soon. Adolfo is Gustavo´s best friend. He has asked to have a conversation with him because, in his opinion, Gustavo is about to make a grave mistake if he gets married. Adolfo “does not believe in marriage as a commitment before society.” For him, marriage is a “social convention,” and the only thing it does is load us with obligations.
Gustavo has a conversation with him. He tells him: “Adolfo, you are wrong; marriage is not a burden. If Monica and I love each other, what we want most is to protect our love, and what better protection for our love than the one granted by marriage, which is to establish our new way of being as a union and does so before everyone. There are indeed obligations, but for people who love, these obligations are not a burden; they are not understood or perceived as obligations but as opportunities for self-giving. Similar to what occurs between parents and children – there is also a legal obligation to register children in the Civil Registry, to give alimony – and in this case, you do not feel obligated to register or feed them, buy them clothes and enroll them in school: no, you do not even realize that they are obligations. Nevertheless, you do it. After all, you want what is best for your children because you simply love them, period. The same occurs with marriage.”
