English
EspañolDo not add fuel to the fire. Do not join the war. Bring peace, relief, closeness, compassion. Be a meeting point. This is the meaning of loving during marital and family crises. Do not be another arsonist.
Text
“It is true, for example, that mercy does not exclude justice and truth, but first and foremost we have to say that mercy is the fullness of justice and the most radiant manifestation of God’s truth (…)This offers us a framework and a setting which help us avoid a cold bureaucratic morality in dealing with more sensitive issues. Instead, it sets us in the context of a pastoral discernment filled with merciful love, which is ever ready to understand, forgive, accompany, hope, and above all integrate.” (The Joy of Love, n.311 – 312)
Commentary
In cases where there has been a rupture of the marriage bond, it is necessary to be very prudent so that, without contravening justice or generating an irresponsible relativism, mercy towards the persons who must be embraced, accompanied, and helped be placed at the center: “Sin is one thing and the sinner is another”; “justice without mercy is cruelty and mercy without justice generates dissolution.”
When faced with the breakdown of a marriage, it is necessary to practice a profound and prudent discernment to recognize the different circumstances of both spouses and the children; for what purpose? Not to condemn them or absolve them, not add fuel like arsonists.
To discern is to understand the solutions that improve a particular case in its uniqueness with the light of truth and the warmth of love. It is to know, listen, embrace and alleviate in order to unite justice, helping to defend the right of those who have been most affected or of those members of the family who are the weakest, harmonizing what is just (not collaborating with or encouraging dissolute actions) with the attitudes proper to good love, mercy with the persons responsible and involved without judging them.
With its family fractures, a marital breakup is a terrible failure and a tragedy that devastates intimacies. It is foolishness of the utmost stupidity or great malice to fester hatreds, divide and manipulate children, and turn families into irreconcilable enemies. Even more so in families, wars are a defeat for all parties and destruction that leaves them devastated.
Do not contribute to multiplying misfortunes; salvage as much as possible. Start with the children who are the most innocent. Give love: embrace, listen, soothe, accompany, uplift, pacify, and bring closer; look for common ground. Do as God does; He mercifully loves all our weaknesses and miseries.
