English
EspañolWe learn to love by loving. Moreover, to love is to love someone concrete, distinct, identifiable, close: my spouse, my father, and mother, each brother and sister, my grandparents, my grandchildren…How? By giving oneself and embracing them in what ordinary life brings us, here and now, every day.
Text
“Discussion groups and optional talks on a variety of topics of genuine interest to young people can also prove helpful. All the same, some individual meetings remain essential, since the primary objective is to help each to learn how to love this very real person with whom he or she plans to share his or her whole life. Learning to love someone does not happen automatically, nor can it be taught in a workshop just prior to the celebration of marriage. For every couple, marriage preparation begins at birth. What they received from their family should prepare them to know themselves and to make a full and definitive commitment.” (The Joy of Love, n.208)
Commentary
Cristina and Andres are getting married in six months and are attending the marriage preparation course at their parish. They are both pleasantly surprised by it.
They say: “they give us theoretical classes, but above all, they have helped us understand our affection better, how we plan our life as a married couple.” They shared that after each class, each one must answer a series of questions regarding how they visualize their marriage and their perspective. Then they are to come together to discuss the answers they have given. Answering these questions has made them, above all, learn to talk about topics they had not discussed in depth. It also allowed them to listen to each other. Both agree that several of the answers were given based on what they had seen at home in their families. “We have concluded that we want our family to follow in the footsteps of our parents. We want to be happy like them.”
For other brides and grooms, this course has given enlightenment and courage. They were afraid because there were dysfunctions, fights, and a slight sense of togetherness in their homes. They have discovered some of the causes. They now know how to prevent them, not make the same mistakes, and not repeat heartbreak. Moreover, what is better, they feel the courage and bravery to keep their love alive and to do so together as accomplices. These couples have lost the fear of getting married.
